


Bake Cookies Day

by PetrichorPerfume



Series: Shenanigans [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Baking, Cookie Baking Day, Cookies, Crack, Gabriel is a food whore, Gangbang porn, Lucifer writes porn, M/M, Michael's Flock, Multi, Poor Michael just wants to do things as a family, Staring Michael, Swear Jars, Swearing, Unnatural holes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-07-15
Packaged: 2018-02-09 01:19:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1963575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetrichorPerfume/pseuds/PetrichorPerfume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael just wants to celebrate Bake Cookies Day as a family. Shenanigans ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bake Cookies Day

**Author's Note:**

> Bake Cookies Day happens on December 18th.

“I still don’t understand why the three of you can’t just snap up some cookies and/or leave the rest of us out of this,” Dean says for the fifth time that day.

 

“Because we need to do things as a family, Dean,” Michael patiently explains yet again.

 

“We do everything as a family! We eat as a family, we spend all day together as a family, we fuck as a family-”

 

“Swear Jar, Dean,” Michael orders.

 

Dean sighs as he stands. Michael treats them all like children sometimes. He makes his way to the Swear Jar, which is less of a jar than a table in the corner of the kitchen with a file organizer on top of it. There are seven drawers, starting with Michael and ending with Adam. He pulls open his drawer and grabs the first piece of paper. The Swear Jar routine is more annoying than anything else, and it isn’t very well enforced either because Michael only bothers to send them once every twenty or so curse words. There are a variety of activities in each drawer along with crayons and markers to with which to complete them. Dean is pretty sure the purpose of the ‘jar’ is to remind them that cursing is juvenile. He looks down at his paper. “Math problems? Really?”

 

“Yes, Dean. And since you’re so adverse to us doing things as a family, you won’t be receiving any help from any of us either.”

 

“Ugh. Fine.” He looks back up at the box. “What’s in your drawer, anyway?”

 

Michael shrugs. “I have no idea. Lulu made whatever’s in there.”

 

Dean opens up Michael’s drawer. “It’s in Enochian.” Castiel wanders over and blushes. “What is it?” Dean asks.

 

Castiel tears it out of the drawer. “What the _fuck,_ Lucifer?”

 

Michael frowns. “You’ll have to go sit at the Swear Jar now, too.”

 

Castiel shakes his head. “Listen to this!” He starts to read. “ _Michael brushes his fingers across his abdomen and a unyielding, slick, pocket-sized hole appears. He lets Gabriel’s manhood pop out of his mouth and moans, ‘Make love to me, Lulu!’ He starts to scream as Sam and Adam move in tandem in his vessel’s God-given hole. His eyes roll back in his head as Dean sinks into his brand-new womanhood. He comes as Castiel and Gabriel start to pound into his mouth as one snarling, animal, primal beast and-”_

 

“That’s enough!” Michael shouts. Everyone turns to look at the way he’s trembling. He tries to move a bowl to cover the tent in his pants, but it’s too late.

 

“Aww, is wittle Mikey-Wikey gonna imaging six big fat cocks pounding into him?” Lucifer teases.

 

“Lulu,” Michael whines.

 

“What’s going on?” Adam asks.

 

Michael rushes over to cover Adam’s ears. “You should all be ashamed of yourselves!” He says to the room in general.

 

“All I did was open a drawer,” Dean complains.

 

“And I have no idea what’s happening,” Sam adds.

 

“Lucifer wrote some very naughty porn,” Gabriel informs them.

 

“Gabriel,” Michael hisses. “Not in front of the children!”

 

Adam rolls his eyes. “Will you _please_ stop calling us that? For fuck’s sake, Mike!”

 

Michael starts to pout. “Now you have to go visit the Swear Jar, too. Lulu, please tell everyone to behave.”

 

“Everyone had better be on their best fucking behavior,” Lucifer says with a grin.

 

“Yeah, we wouldn’t want Michael to have a shit fit,” Gabriel chimes in.

 

Michael looks helplessly to Sam. “You’ll be good, won’t you, Sam?”

 

Sam smirks. “Hell no.”

 

Michael throws his hands in the air. “I give the fuck up!”

 

Lucifer saunters over to Michael’s Swear Jar drawer. “I’ve taken the liberty of penning one hundred and twenty-six other stories you might find more to your liking. How about this one? _Michael groans as Sam pushes a seventh dick into his gaping h-_ ”

 

Michael covers his ears and runs out of the room screaming.

 

“Wait!” Lucifer calls. “We still have cookies to bake!”

 

“Yeah, you know, as a family!” Dean adds.

 

“We’re out of chocolate chips,” Gabriel announces.

 

“Gabe, I bought _twenty_ pounds!” Lucifer whines. “You’re such a whore.”

 

Gabriel conjures up a lollipop. “At least I’m not the one writing gangbang porn with _Michael_ staring in every single one.”

 

“No,” Sam counters. “You just write gangbang porn starring yourself and then you make us let you film it the movie version.” He puts on his best bitch-face. “Whore.”

 

“I’m your whore,” Gabriel says, blowing a kiss. He hikes up his shirt and touches his stomach. A hole appears and he moans. “Make love to me, Lulu!”

 

Lucifer dumps a bag on flour on his head. “Only Michael gets to call me that, asshole.”

 

“Whatever. Seriously, though, fuck me. I need one last ingredient for the cum cookie I’m planning on making.”

 

Dean finishes his math sheet and stands up. “You three are fucking disgusting. Come on, Cas. You too, Adam.”

 

“But I wanna watch,” Cas whines.

 

“No,” everyone says at the same time. “Absolutely not,” Gabriel adds. “I mean, normally, I’d say go for it but Michael will have my ass on a plate if we do any more corrupting today, and not in the fun way. Sorry, baby angel.”

 

Cas flies away with Dean in tow.

 

Adam grumbles to himself as he walks out. “When Michael insisted we spend every holiday together as a family, somehow I don’t think this is what he had in mind.”


End file.
